From journal entry: 6/4
I joined a bible study a few weeks ago to study the book of Esther and to take the focus off of what I was going through and to learn why it is "tough being a women" I thought it would be a good thing to get my mind off what was hurting inside. Boy did God have other plans, and I soon found out that he had me at the right time and place. I joined this group of women that was made up of some friends from E.G.M, and other girls that were in college and other places in life. My first week was a week after Kaden was born and I tried wearing the mask of I'm ok, but it slowly came off through out our visits. So as we are sitting there watching the very animated Beth Moore one of the first things that comes out of her mouth is " One of the hardest things to go through and see is loosing a child" WHAT was screaming from within and seriously not now God!!! weeping during the lesson I surrendered my heart and mind to Christ Jesus asking him to fill the gap with his eternal love. I felt the Holy Spirit descend on me and say " my child I am here for you, but you need to deal with your grief and let me heal your broken wings".
To shine some light on the backdrop of the book of Esther we see that God is not mentioned by name in the story. Beth Moore describes it like God is the author behind the story line, and writing Esther into his story. We see him working as the pages of Esther are turned.
We can apply this concept to our lives. That God is not seen in the natural, but is apart of every chapter in YOUR life. He is writing US into his story. One of Beth's quotes was " coinsidences are miracles in which God prefers to remain anonymous" God is building up our faith to blow our minds.
Ephesians 1:11
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out EVERYTHING in conformity with the purpose of his will." and
Philippians 2:13
"for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."
He is going to work out all the hardships, pain, and, fill in blank ____ for his good!
Seek him FIRST and God's will for your life and he will find you and meet you where your at. We have a destiny. This life isn't meaningless there is a purpose for your life. Start living it in Jesus name!
So I leave you with a question... Where have you seen God working behind the story of your own life? In the people, places and things around you?
Think of them as not coinsidences, but miracles!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Journey to the "hiding place" and Choosing to receive
From past journal entry:
I don't know about you, but it seems that God speaks to me through song a lot and not just familiar songs. A great deal of the songs that stick in my mind are from my past. Here is one that has been lay ed on my heart:
"You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance, whenever I am afraid I will trust in you! I will trust in you, let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the Lord."
After this came to mind I started searching through the word trying to find the verse that this song was from. After searching which seemed like a while I noticed that it was on the very next chapter in my "grieving the child I never knew" book my mouth dropped. Have you ever searched for something not realizing that it was right in front of your face the whole time. I felt God saying stop searching and look I have given you what you need. So the verse is a small but a powerful one...
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround you with songs of deliverance. ( Psalm 32:7 )
A question came to my mind. How is the Lord a hiding place? In the psalm David speaks of the Lord as his hiding place --- a place of security in an insecure world. Though David was probably thinking mostly of safety from physical threats, God also provides safety from spiritual trouble. He delivers us from death and evil.
The storms of life come in with sometimes no warning. Some are short hail storms and some are very long and draining. There is no heavy rain or damaging winds to spot and prepare for in advance. When we see a tornado or hard time coming we immediately run for cover or shelter.
So comparing this scenario to my life I would say a year ago when we found out the something was wrong with Grace and that she wasn't compatible to life as a warning for what was about to come. During the time of getting the confusing and terrifying news I found myself drawing closer to God then ever. I remember sitting at the table for hrs just reading God's word and trying to take comfort from anything or anyone that came my way. I didn't want to be by my self in a room, because I know that is the place where the enemy would attack the most. I found my hiding place to be out in the open and laying my life and my child's before the feet of our Father. Believe me if I was told that if I jumped the whole way around the block while eating a pb& j sandwich I would have done it. I would have done anything that was in my control to save my baby girl. God however had other ways of saving her and took her home from my womb at five months gestation. He saw the pain that she and us would have suffered and decided what was best for us. What happened this year was a tornado out of no where. We had no time to prepare for Kaden being called home, and I feel the Holy Spirits presence and anointing so strong right now. Again God had a higher purpose then what we can comprehend for Kaden. As parents we can relate on a small scale of taking things away from our kids that would cause harm to them. God wants to take away your pain if you let him take control. He will do what's best for you if you believe and trust in Him.
It's your choice to receive:
In the salon I have so many great conversations and I am so thankful that God has provided me a place where people can be open to talk about what they want. I once worked at a place where I was told by the owner that "Jesus' doesn't belong here and I am not to bring any talk of him to work" I was hurt and furious, but know I am blessed for all the times I had to bite my lip from saying his name out loud. Well on this day when I was talking to a friend I had a revelation. I was telling her how God is so good and that the strength and peace he has given me is amazing and unexplainable. She commented on my strength and how amazing it is to see, and I answered by saying that it is all God. "I am weak, but he is strong" She agreed that God is the giver of strength, but also wanted me to know that through her journey with caring for a sick baby son she has learned that God gives us the strength, but we have to CHOOSE to receive it. she went on to say "Rochelle you have to take some credit for the way you have responded to tragedy and your faithful attitude". wow I never thought of it as a choice. There is so much freedom in choosing to believe, it's that "free will" gift that God gave us. Sometimes it's a good thing and other times we take advantage of it and abuse the privilege. Humm reminds me of how toddlers operate you give them and "inch. and they will take a mile" We are a lot like toddlers in God's eyes.
God,
I pray that through the storms of life that you are always my hiding place and that I continue to put my faith and trust in you. Lord God help me to continue to choose to walk in your ways and to fight for you. Lord I pray for anyone that is making something else their hiding place would come out and find peace and strength in the shadow of your wing. We love you Lord and i ask this all in your name alone. Amen
I don't know about you, but it seems that God speaks to me through song a lot and not just familiar songs. A great deal of the songs that stick in my mind are from my past. Here is one that has been lay ed on my heart:
"You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance, whenever I am afraid I will trust in you! I will trust in you, let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the Lord."
After this came to mind I started searching through the word trying to find the verse that this song was from. After searching which seemed like a while I noticed that it was on the very next chapter in my "grieving the child I never knew" book my mouth dropped. Have you ever searched for something not realizing that it was right in front of your face the whole time. I felt God saying stop searching and look I have given you what you need. So the verse is a small but a powerful one...
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround you with songs of deliverance. ( Psalm 32:7 )
A question came to my mind. How is the Lord a hiding place? In the psalm David speaks of the Lord as his hiding place --- a place of security in an insecure world. Though David was probably thinking mostly of safety from physical threats, God also provides safety from spiritual trouble. He delivers us from death and evil.
The storms of life come in with sometimes no warning. Some are short hail storms and some are very long and draining. There is no heavy rain or damaging winds to spot and prepare for in advance. When we see a tornado or hard time coming we immediately run for cover or shelter.
So comparing this scenario to my life I would say a year ago when we found out the something was wrong with Grace and that she wasn't compatible to life as a warning for what was about to come. During the time of getting the confusing and terrifying news I found myself drawing closer to God then ever. I remember sitting at the table for hrs just reading God's word and trying to take comfort from anything or anyone that came my way. I didn't want to be by my self in a room, because I know that is the place where the enemy would attack the most. I found my hiding place to be out in the open and laying my life and my child's before the feet of our Father. Believe me if I was told that if I jumped the whole way around the block while eating a pb& j sandwich I would have done it. I would have done anything that was in my control to save my baby girl. God however had other ways of saving her and took her home from my womb at five months gestation. He saw the pain that she and us would have suffered and decided what was best for us. What happened this year was a tornado out of no where. We had no time to prepare for Kaden being called home, and I feel the Holy Spirits presence and anointing so strong right now. Again God had a higher purpose then what we can comprehend for Kaden. As parents we can relate on a small scale of taking things away from our kids that would cause harm to them. God wants to take away your pain if you let him take control. He will do what's best for you if you believe and trust in Him.
It's your choice to receive:
In the salon I have so many great conversations and I am so thankful that God has provided me a place where people can be open to talk about what they want. I once worked at a place where I was told by the owner that "Jesus' doesn't belong here and I am not to bring any talk of him to work" I was hurt and furious, but know I am blessed for all the times I had to bite my lip from saying his name out loud. Well on this day when I was talking to a friend I had a revelation. I was telling her how God is so good and that the strength and peace he has given me is amazing and unexplainable. She commented on my strength and how amazing it is to see, and I answered by saying that it is all God. "I am weak, but he is strong" She agreed that God is the giver of strength, but also wanted me to know that through her journey with caring for a sick baby son she has learned that God gives us the strength, but we have to CHOOSE to receive it. she went on to say "Rochelle you have to take some credit for the way you have responded to tragedy and your faithful attitude". wow I never thought of it as a choice. There is so much freedom in choosing to believe, it's that "free will" gift that God gave us. Sometimes it's a good thing and other times we take advantage of it and abuse the privilege. Humm reminds me of how toddlers operate you give them and "inch. and they will take a mile" We are a lot like toddlers in God's eyes.
God,
I pray that through the storms of life that you are always my hiding place and that I continue to put my faith and trust in you. Lord God help me to continue to choose to walk in your ways and to fight for you. Lord I pray for anyone that is making something else their hiding place would come out and find peace and strength in the shadow of your wing. We love you Lord and i ask this all in your name alone. Amen
Friday, July 3, 2009
The cup of optimism...
Before I begin sharing what I wrote in my journal in the past weeks I write today with a heavy heart. I am thankful that we serve a God that gives us strength and peace even around hard dates. July 2 was my scheduled c -section and the day Kaden would have been born. So many emotions these past weeks and I would like to fill you in.
We got the autopsy results back and the Dr. explained everything to us about what had caused Kaden's death. He said it is placenta related and basically what happened is we had twins!!! I know CRAZY except the one hooked on to the placenta and gave it extra chromosomes and couldn't give Kaden what he needed to grow. We were sad to find out that it was the placenta that failed him, but happy to know that it wasn't genetic related or stressed related. PRAISE GOD!!! So join us in thanking him for answers.
The Dr. also told us that I am not in a high risk category because the things that happen to me doesn't happen to people. Last year and this year are both shot's in the dark and extremely rare. Steve and I walked in to the results united in heart and mind as we both feel so strongly that we would like to conceive a child to raise, and we would walk by faith no matter what the results were. Well now that we have answers it gives us the green light to try again and I also get to bypass any unnecessary tests. The Dr. said that in most cases where a baby dies late in pregnancy they don't find out anything and it causes a lot of fear with proceeding to try again.
Please pray that in his timing we will conceive again. Pray for a safe pregnancy and healthy baby. Also pray that God will trump any fears we may have along the way with peace. We will keep you updated and let you know as soon as we become prego so you can pray. We appreciate all the prayers you are lifting up for us and glad we don't have a quota. ;)
From Journal entry 6/3 (before we had autopsy results)
2 Corinthians 12: 8-10 (Paul's vision and his thorn)
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
There are too different categories people can fit in either looking at the glass half-full or half- empty. Well as most of you know I am a half-full kinda gal. Sometimes I would have to say it is so full that it begins to overflow before it overwhelms. The downside of being an extreme optimist is that you are too busy focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel and future anticipations that you miss out on the healing opportunity's and molding process that God wants us to desire. I like to think that in the spiritual world optimism is equal to Faith. I just have to remind myself that life is a journey and not just a book that you can skip to the end. In hard situations I start seeing near sided and skip the things that are right in front of my face. This is when God steps in to helps me grow from my weakness. Humm so can being to optimistic be a weakness, because you are not dealing with the heart of the issues? I am going to let that sink in to my mind and let it marinate. Heavy stuff that I can't wrap my mind around right now. Any thoughts please feel free to ad:
I think that being nearsighted can be good,because it is having faith I just have to remind myself not to go blind to what's going on around me. taking it one step at a time, and one day at a time. The next step in our journey will be getting the autopsy results back. No matter what Steve and I have decided that we don't feel God pushing the stop button to have more children, so we will go with the attitude of listening to his direction and following our hearts no matter what the outcome is. Thank you for walking this road of Faith with us it means so much to us to have your support. We also pray that if people feel ill about our decision that God will work in you and strengthen your faith because NOTHING is impossible or too big for God to do. We pray you will be encouraged and not driven away from the peace and faith we have been given. If you are facing a hard time right now and you just can't see the light, run to our fathers arms and believe he can give you what you need and kneel at the thrown of grace and be willing to receive what he is handing to you. The key is we have to receive it believing and not doubting;
James 1: 6
But when he asks, he must BELIEVE and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
Dear God, help me to start this journey of healing with open eyes driving slowly taking it one step and day at a time. help me to lean on you for truth and understanding. You are the potter and I am the clay. Help me to be a slow paced optimist and not to be blind to the things you want to teach me through this process of grieving. For when I am weak you can help me be strong.
Amen
We got the autopsy results back and the Dr. explained everything to us about what had caused Kaden's death. He said it is placenta related and basically what happened is we had twins!!! I know CRAZY except the one hooked on to the placenta and gave it extra chromosomes and couldn't give Kaden what he needed to grow. We were sad to find out that it was the placenta that failed him, but happy to know that it wasn't genetic related or stressed related. PRAISE GOD!!! So join us in thanking him for answers.
The Dr. also told us that I am not in a high risk category because the things that happen to me doesn't happen to people. Last year and this year are both shot's in the dark and extremely rare. Steve and I walked in to the results united in heart and mind as we both feel so strongly that we would like to conceive a child to raise, and we would walk by faith no matter what the results were. Well now that we have answers it gives us the green light to try again and I also get to bypass any unnecessary tests. The Dr. said that in most cases where a baby dies late in pregnancy they don't find out anything and it causes a lot of fear with proceeding to try again.
Please pray that in his timing we will conceive again. Pray for a safe pregnancy and healthy baby. Also pray that God will trump any fears we may have along the way with peace. We will keep you updated and let you know as soon as we become prego so you can pray. We appreciate all the prayers you are lifting up for us and glad we don't have a quota. ;)
From Journal entry 6/3 (before we had autopsy results)
2 Corinthians 12: 8-10 (Paul's vision and his thorn)
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
There are too different categories people can fit in either looking at the glass half-full or half- empty. Well as most of you know I am a half-full kinda gal. Sometimes I would have to say it is so full that it begins to overflow before it overwhelms. The downside of being an extreme optimist is that you are too busy focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel and future anticipations that you miss out on the healing opportunity's and molding process that God wants us to desire. I like to think that in the spiritual world optimism is equal to Faith. I just have to remind myself that life is a journey and not just a book that you can skip to the end. In hard situations I start seeing near sided and skip the things that are right in front of my face. This is when God steps in to helps me grow from my weakness. Humm so can being to optimistic be a weakness, because you are not dealing with the heart of the issues? I am going to let that sink in to my mind and let it marinate. Heavy stuff that I can't wrap my mind around right now. Any thoughts please feel free to ad:
I think that being nearsighted can be good,because it is having faith I just have to remind myself not to go blind to what's going on around me. taking it one step at a time, and one day at a time. The next step in our journey will be getting the autopsy results back. No matter what Steve and I have decided that we don't feel God pushing the stop button to have more children, so we will go with the attitude of listening to his direction and following our hearts no matter what the outcome is. Thank you for walking this road of Faith with us it means so much to us to have your support. We also pray that if people feel ill about our decision that God will work in you and strengthen your faith because NOTHING is impossible or too big for God to do. We pray you will be encouraged and not driven away from the peace and faith we have been given. If you are facing a hard time right now and you just can't see the light, run to our fathers arms and believe he can give you what you need and kneel at the thrown of grace and be willing to receive what he is handing to you. The key is we have to receive it believing and not doubting;
James 1: 6
But when he asks, he must BELIEVE and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
Dear God, help me to start this journey of healing with open eyes driving slowly taking it one step and day at a time. help me to lean on you for truth and understanding. You are the potter and I am the clay. Help me to be a slow paced optimist and not to be blind to the things you want to teach me through this process of grieving. For when I am weak you can help me be strong.
Amen
Monday, June 15, 2009
"Grieving the child I never knew"
I want to start off by thanking my wonderful M.O.P.S mom's for giving me a resource that has helped me so much through this journey...
I received a book called "Grieving the child I never knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg
"A companion for comfort in the loss of your unborn child or newly born child."
www.hopelifters.com
from my journal entry 6/1
(Before I began to digest this book and take this journey to healing. I began to pray asking God to to open my heart and peel the scab that this past and present year has brought).
Dear God,
I pray that you will reveal truth to me and help mend my broken heart. Even though it may be painful Lord I pray that you will speak to me and expose those wounds and specific feelings I may be having deep down about our loss, and restore my heart and mind in Christ Jesus' amen.
As I dug into the intro I was captured by the author and all she had been through. Isn't it true that just when you think you had it bad someone comes along that seems to have or had it worse. This is the case as I read this amazing women's journey through faith and putting her hope in God. The author has struggled with fertility for a few years and lost four children before conceiving a child to raise on earth. One of the children was born with a fatal birth defect, but she still believed God was able to heal him, and if he chose not to she would praise him through losing him.
This hit me because it is very similar to how I felt when Grace was diagnosed in the womb with something fatal. I remember begging God to do a miracle and show his great power that we knew he could preform. We believed and trusted it with all our hearts that he could heal her. He chose instead to take her home for an eternal purpose.
In reading her story I could really feel empathy on how our paths are similar. I am weeping as I read this, but in awe that this couple is unified in their feelings just as Steve and I are. Neither of us has been shown the stop button from God in having more kids, and we have chosen to follow our hearts trusting God the whole way. She finally conceived at 40!!! with her 5th child. Praise God for perseverance! She compares pregnancy to a roller coaster ride; and loosing a child to never getting to the end of the ride and instead told that the ride is over. Wow what a picture and I am sure some of you can relate to pregnancy to a crazy and scary time.
If you are in the same boat and have lost a child I am so sorry for your loss, but remember that God is close to the broken hearted and wants to hold you close and heal your pain. He can show the ultimate empathy with the loss of a child. He gave his own son up to save us from an eternity of pain. It's because of living in a broken world that we have to go through suffering not because of something you or I did, so take comfort knowing that "HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH THAT HE GAVE HIS SON SO THAT YOU COULD LIVE"
I encourage you to get this book for yourself or someone you know that has lost a child. I have only read the intro. and I am already captivated. Thank you Lord Jesus' for resources to help us work through the pain of living in a broken world, and giving us the courage to follow our hearts desires even when the ride seems scary.
I received a book called "Grieving the child I never knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg
"A companion for comfort in the loss of your unborn child or newly born child."
www.hopelifters.com
from my journal entry 6/1
(Before I began to digest this book and take this journey to healing. I began to pray asking God to to open my heart and peel the scab that this past and present year has brought).
Dear God,
I pray that you will reveal truth to me and help mend my broken heart. Even though it may be painful Lord I pray that you will speak to me and expose those wounds and specific feelings I may be having deep down about our loss, and restore my heart and mind in Christ Jesus' amen.
As I dug into the intro I was captured by the author and all she had been through. Isn't it true that just when you think you had it bad someone comes along that seems to have or had it worse. This is the case as I read this amazing women's journey through faith and putting her hope in God. The author has struggled with fertility for a few years and lost four children before conceiving a child to raise on earth. One of the children was born with a fatal birth defect, but she still believed God was able to heal him, and if he chose not to she would praise him through losing him.
This hit me because it is very similar to how I felt when Grace was diagnosed in the womb with something fatal. I remember begging God to do a miracle and show his great power that we knew he could preform. We believed and trusted it with all our hearts that he could heal her. He chose instead to take her home for an eternal purpose.
In reading her story I could really feel empathy on how our paths are similar. I am weeping as I read this, but in awe that this couple is unified in their feelings just as Steve and I are. Neither of us has been shown the stop button from God in having more kids, and we have chosen to follow our hearts trusting God the whole way. She finally conceived at 40!!! with her 5th child. Praise God for perseverance! She compares pregnancy to a roller coaster ride; and loosing a child to never getting to the end of the ride and instead told that the ride is over. Wow what a picture and I am sure some of you can relate to pregnancy to a crazy and scary time.
If you are in the same boat and have lost a child I am so sorry for your loss, but remember that God is close to the broken hearted and wants to hold you close and heal your pain. He can show the ultimate empathy with the loss of a child. He gave his own son up to save us from an eternity of pain. It's because of living in a broken world that we have to go through suffering not because of something you or I did, so take comfort knowing that "HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH THAT HE GAVE HIS SON SO THAT YOU COULD LIVE"
I encourage you to get this book for yourself or someone you know that has lost a child. I have only read the intro. and I am already captivated. Thank you Lord Jesus' for resources to help us work through the pain of living in a broken world, and giving us the courage to follow our hearts desires even when the ride seems scary.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A " LIVING HOPE"
From journal entry on 5/27 :
" There will be a day with no more TEARS, no more PAIN, and no more FEARS. There will be a day when the BURDENS of this place will be no more will see JESUS' face to face.....and until that day we hold on to you ALWAYS"
I have fallen head over heals for Jeremy Camp's music and how it is so relevant to our lives as Christians living a life full of HOPE. Check out the you tube video and Jeremy Camp's story... http://www.musichristian.com/refer/toothandnail/PRODUCT=561032
I can't get this song out of my head and the words that cut deep, but scream truth too. What does the word HOPE mean, according to scripture:
Isaiah 40:31 "
but those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." (beautiful picture of HOPE)
Back to the song that I can't get out of my head...after leaving bible study one night I was walking to my car humming the song "There will be a day", as soon as I turned the key there was the song!!! Has this ever happened to you? I thought to myself this is just a coincidence, or is it? Beth Moore used a quote that night that came to mind and hit me between the eyes. "coincidences are miracles in which God prefers to remain anonymous" WOW what a reminder of how God works!!!
According to 1 peter 1:3-7 [We have been given a LIVING HOPE through the resurrection of our Lord Jesus' Christ. We will receive an eternal inheritance when we get to heaven. On earth we will suffer grief and trials which causes our faith to grow. Our FAITH which is worth more than gold may result in praise].
We may not know the reason for the season on earth, but need to respond by CHOOSING to "walk by HOPE and FAITH" through the trials... I will be talking more about how faith and trust is a choice later. Now plugging in LIVING HOPE words to the song that offers HOPE in a hopeless world...
" This will be the day I greatly REJOICE, my suffering is gone, and HOPE lives on. Here is the day when we look upon the Earth as a blink of an eye I see my Father face to face... this is the day I was created for ALWAYS!!!
Lucas doesn't understand everything at this time with being almost 3 he thinks heaven is a big playground where everyone is happy and getting along, but the other day he asked me if He could go to Grace and Kaden's house. Catching me off guard I asked him why? He answered because they are happy and not sad. So true what a great reminder that we are strangers in this place and we need to desire to go to "the big playground in the sky and bring others along with us for a ride on the slide" [a little cheesy I know] :)
Whatever you may be going through hold onto the FAITH always and rest in a LIVING HOPE who is our Lord Jesus' Christ!!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
The word of God is like a SWORD!!!
5/22
So here it is nap time for Lucas and time for me to work on a little Beth Moore homework from a bible study I am doing with a group of girls on the book of Esther.
So with coffee and pen in hand I notice two well dressed women walking up my driveway with bibles in their hands. In the past my first reaction has been to quickly shut all the blinds and sit quiet until they leave, because I would not no what to say or have the right scripture passages to defend what I believe. Have you felt like this?
Well today was different and I could feel the Holy Spirit telling me to get up and go to the door. To my and the Jehovah witnesses amazement I opened the door before they even had a chance to knock.
I noticed that the little well dressed old lady had a pamphlet in her hand that said "How to have a stronger Faith". I chuckled a little because I could feel that God was about to use me as a tool for him (watch out when God decides to speak through you, because it is quick and powerful).
First of all I never gave them a chance to go over the pamphlet and before I knew it I was sharing with them all we have been through in the past year with loosing two children late in the womb. I told them that our faith has been increased from going through these hard times and caused us to grow closer to God, our marriage, family, friends, and the community.
I told them that a pamphlet or doing good is not your ticket to heaven. The price has been paid for you, and you are the one that needs to chose to live for Him. Not by your actions of doing good, but living out your faith!!! I told them to be blessed and to keep their pamphlet for someone else I have God's word hidden in my heart.
The look of shock said it all, that the word of God is like a SWORD:
So here it is nap time for Lucas and time for me to work on a little Beth Moore homework from a bible study I am doing with a group of girls on the book of Esther.
So with coffee and pen in hand I notice two well dressed women walking up my driveway with bibles in their hands. In the past my first reaction has been to quickly shut all the blinds and sit quiet until they leave, because I would not no what to say or have the right scripture passages to defend what I believe. Have you felt like this?
Well today was different and I could feel the Holy Spirit telling me to get up and go to the door. To my and the Jehovah witnesses amazement I opened the door before they even had a chance to knock.
I noticed that the little well dressed old lady had a pamphlet in her hand that said "How to have a stronger Faith". I chuckled a little because I could feel that God was about to use me as a tool for him (watch out when God decides to speak through you, because it is quick and powerful).
First of all I never gave them a chance to go over the pamphlet and before I knew it I was sharing with them all we have been through in the past year with loosing two children late in the womb. I told them that our faith has been increased from going through these hard times and caused us to grow closer to God, our marriage, family, friends, and the community.
I told them that a pamphlet or doing good is not your ticket to heaven. The price has been paid for you, and you are the one that needs to chose to live for Him. Not by your actions of doing good, but living out your faith!!! I told them to be blessed and to keep their pamphlet for someone else I have God's word hidden in my heart.
The look of shock said it all, that the word of God is like a SWORD:
Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
As I shut the door in disbelief of what just came out of my mouth I began to Thank God for giving me the words to speak...Something I have been afraid and hiding from brought me so much joy. I thought I had to prepare the right things and scripture to confront them not realizing that all I needed was to trust that God would give me the words to speak. I stood my ground in Jesus' name and it was like he was standing behind me screaming
"that's my Girl, way to trust in me"!!!
I encourage you to TRUST God and use the Bible as a SWORD!!!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Reason for my Hope!
The reason for my HOPE!
How God's grace and love will strengthen,
Rebuild, and, restore... "Charles Stanley"
The memorial plans were moving along and we were so thankful to be surrounded by a loving and caring community!!! One afternoon my brother asked me if I had certain verses picked out for the slide show of Grace and Kaden? I gave him a few, but then he shared with me Psalm 42:11...
"Why are you downcast,
O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your HOPE in God, for I will yet praise him,
my savior and my God."
I looked in my Quest Bible and on the side margin there was the question...
Why hope in a God who appears to have forgotten you?
The answer was:
Faith often means doing exactly that. We cling to promises that we believe will come true _healthy child_ (You fill in the blank)?
even if we cannot immediately see their fulfillment. the psalmist urges his heart to trust God's promises despite the seeming absence of God during dark times. Hope is the language of faith when evidence of God's care does not seem clear to us (Cor.13:13;Heb.11:1-2).
My mouth dropped and I had goosebumps, or God bumps. It was as if God had sent the ? and the answer... He is so cool!!!
The question that has been on Steve and My heart's is:
do we even try again?
The answer which I knew at that moment was:
God has not forgotten Steve and Rochelle. He wants Steve and Rochelle to cling to him and the promise that he is the author of the Dozeman's story and he is behind every scene even though they can't understand the reason for this tragedy. He is always there, and wants to give Steve and Rochelle the desires of their hearts. They just need to put their HOPE, TRUST, and DELIGHT in God their father.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
My life verse is Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
God only knows the future...
It is our choice to put our hope and trust in him. He is the reason for my hope!!!
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