"Grieving the child I never knew"

I want to start off by thanking my wonderful M.O.P.S mom's for giving me a resource that has helped me so much through this journey...


I received a book called "Grieving the child I never knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg

"A companion for comfort in the loss of your unborn child or newly born child."
www.hopelifters.com


from my journal entry 6/1


(Before I began to digest this book and take this journey to healing. I began to pray asking God to to open my heart and peel the scab that this past and present year has brought).



Dear God,

I pray that you will reveal truth to me and help mend my broken heart. Even though it may be painful Lord I pray that you will speak to me and expose those wounds and specific feelings I may be having deep down about our loss, and restore my heart and mind in Christ Jesus' amen.



As I dug into the intro I was captured by the author and all she had been through. Isn't it true that just when you think you had it bad someone comes along that seems to have or had it worse. This is the case as I read this amazing women's journey through faith and putting her hope in God. The author has struggled with fertility for a few years and lost four children before conceiving a child to raise on earth. One of the children was born with a fatal birth defect, but she still believed God was able to heal him, and if he chose not to she would praise him through losing him.
This hit me because it is very similar to how I felt when Grace was diagnosed in the womb with something fatal. I remember begging God to do a miracle and show his great power that we knew he could preform. We believed and trusted it with all our hearts that he could heal her. He chose instead to take her home for an eternal purpose.
In reading her story I could really feel empathy on how our paths are similar. I am weeping as I read this, but in awe that this couple is unified in their feelings just as Steve and I are. Neither of us has been shown the stop button from God in having more kids, and we have chosen to follow our hearts trusting God the whole way. She finally conceived at 40!!! with her 5th child. Praise God for perseverance! She compares pregnancy to a roller coaster ride; and loosing a child to never getting to the end of the ride and instead told that the ride is over. Wow what a picture and I am sure some of you can relate to pregnancy to a crazy and scary time.

If you are in the same boat and have lost a child I am so sorry for your loss, but remember that God is close to the broken hearted and wants to hold you close and heal your pain. He can show the ultimate empathy with the loss of a child. He gave his own son up to save us from an eternity of pain. It's because of living in a broken world that we have to go through suffering not because of something you or I did, so take comfort knowing that "HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH THAT HE GAVE HIS SON SO THAT YOU COULD LIVE"

I encourage you to get this book for yourself or someone you know that has lost a child. I have only read the intro. and I am already captivated. Thank you Lord Jesus' for resources to help us work through the pain of living in a broken world, and giving us the courage to follow our hearts desires even when the ride seems scary.